Not doing "all the things"

When my friend means she's overwhelmed by all she has to do (which feels like EVERYTHING), she says has to do "all the things."
I love this saying and have adopted it as my own.
Recently I visited a friend in Kentucky, and we joked about our shared sense of guilt for not signing up our kids for "all the things." When we were kids, we played a different sport every season and maybe took music lessons, but that was it. I had a couple of friends who played summer club sports and others who played two sports a season, but not many.
As a mom today, I feel like I'm failing if my kids aren't 100% dedicated to multiple things, playing that sport and taking those lessons year round, for six days a week. Or, I feel similarly incompetent as a 21st-century mom if my kids aren't taking music, gymnastics, soccer, and art, plus volunteering to bathe sick puppies three days a week.
What if I fail to introduce my kids to the one thing that will make their life perfect and give it ultimate meaning? What if my kid is the next Joshua Bell but misses her chance because I failed to put a violin in her hands when she was five? What if my son is the next Lin Manuel Miranda but will never get his "shot" because we don't live in NYC where he can take all of the dance, voice, and music classes? What if? What if?! WHAT IF??!!
IF I don't do "all the things" so my kids can do ALL THE THINGS, then I HAVE FAILED as an American mom in the 2010s.
No joke.
That's the message we all receive. And that's the message my friend and I laughed about, with more than a hint of lament.
No, we will not sacrifice all of our time so that our kids can do "all the things."
I am going to say "no" to things, not just for scheduling or financial reasons, but because I want family time. I want my kids to have downtime. And I just don't want to drive all the time and feel stressed.
And I'm not going to feel guilty about that. We make sacrifices for one another as a family all the time but we have to decide where we draw the line and for what reasons.
I have friends who do all the things and I'm happy for them and proud of them, but that's not the type of mom I am, and my kids will turn out just fine. The life my husband and I want for ourselves, for each other, and for our family includes lots of spontaneous trips and activities.
Friends, this doesn't make my guilt disappear. I still have moments of worry that I haven't introduced my kids to their perfect instrument or perfect sport. The blaring message out there of the high standards expected of me as a mother today is deafening and not to be ignored. But when the guilt comes, I take a breath and remind myself why I have chosen to be the kind of mom that I am. I am parenting in a way authentic to myself, and I'm pretty happy with who I am. The best mom I can be is the one that flows from me as I am, not who I'm "supposed" to be.